Friday, November 19, 2010

Why I write

When I write, I write from a place within that speaks to me every single day. I speak from a place of truth, and a place that I call home within. Sometimes that place is ugly, and sometimes it is joyful. But no matter what, i always speak from a place of complete gratitude. Even for the ugliness, and even for the sun. This is me, and that is where I begin today. I begin with me. Today I speak because I can, I speak because I am now everything and everyone that I need to know in order to be real.

How do I express myself in the way that I would like. I go to a deeper place. A very dark place. A place that I used to hide from, and a place that I always knew was there, but was never willing to explore with a bright enough light. I neglected that place, I pretended that place had no name, never a place of existence and that place would rot inside of me until its death. I tried to cover it up with every possible camoflauge known to man. I never gave it a name, a truth, it was not part of me, how could it be? This was not me. So I journey'd forward. I felt you every day. It felt like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of one shoe. Trying to believe it wasn't there, but knowing it was there the whole time. My steps sticky.

One day, it would go away. Right? One day. It was ugly, I am not ugy. How could I bare to be ugly. Let me cover you back up again, stand on stage and act in the lights. Pretending you were not there all along. I did a pretty damn good job, I was a great actress. You were the act of my life. But still you sat in my there waiting for me, laughing, rotting in me. Until today, I held up the white flag. I give. You are me, I am you, lets do this together.

Today I welcome you with open arms. Embracing your colors, and your lessons. You are me, and I am you. It is me, it is stamped with the genuine stamp. You are what makes me original, and strong, and pretty darn powerful. Today I am proud that I can unveil that camoflauge and say thank you for what you taught me. Thank you for what you helped me to realize about myself. Life is too short to not be who you are. Live you truths, when you can be okay with that. Life is peace. Life is amazing, and life is exactly the way it is supposed to be. I love her. She is special. She has work to do. People to see and touch. Today she moves forward, laughing with it, and knowing she knew all along.
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