JOY

As I sit here to write. Pretty late at night, I am not tired. I guess I could try to fall asleep, but my thoughts running in my mind tend to keep me awake. So I write..........I don't know what I am about to write, but I feel as though I need to express myself.

My Joys-

To me Joy means long term happiness. Not the feeling you get while you are eating a cookie, that is just happiness. Well short term, until that white sugar enters your blood stream and 1 hour the happiness turns into depression. To me Joy is the opposite, Joy is that happiness that resides in your heart, and the feeling is completely real. You know its there, you don't have to search far for it. It is easily grasped. To me Joy is long term. I am thinking about the joys in my life because I can't help but feel joy when I think about them. Right now I could use a little bit of joy. This week's joys-

-My niece Madelyn and Sarah. They love their aunt Abbey. They look up to me. The pictures they drew for me with a simple 3 words made me feel joyful. I love it when they say "I love you" because I know they mean it.

-Vincent my nephew. Screams my name loud enough over and over again to let me know he cares I am in the room. He is always the first one to greet me when I walk into a room, and he is always the last one to say goodbye with a big hug. Its love. And at 2 years old, I think he already knows what that feeling is. Because he shows me every day.

-The Morrill Family. I have nothing but love for this family. They make me feel joyful . To: Tony, Kat, Maddie, Brie, and Ciel You are irreplaceable

-The choice that I made to go out on a run this week because I wanted too. My intention was to just go to feel fresh air, and to know that I am alive. I didn't go out on a run because I had to, or because I was torturing myself. This time, I was in touch with my body, and it actually craved the run. I loved it!

-The energy of my classes bring me joy, it is very contagious

-The amazing journey I have been on through my Yoga Teacher Training. I never thought that I could feel so good doing something. KNOWING that this is one of the things in life that I will give myself completely too, and I will never have to fake my passion. It is there, I feel it, and it feels right! I love the effect it has had on my life. Very Joyful!

-My Family especially my supportive parents. They bring me joy daily just by letting me know that I have a support system when I need it. They are my home.

-Knowing presence, and feeling that is Joy

-Knowing that I have yet to fall in love again for real, and I know I still have the opportunity in front of me. That brings me joy. I can't wait to fall in love. But until then, I am ok with just loving me and all those around me. My friendships bring me joy

-Friends (all of you) PURE JOY!

-Children's Hugs PRICLESS

-Self Discovery and breakthroughs. Learning to be ok with me, brings me joy. Takes away the stress and replaces it with peace.

-Knowing that I am only human, brings me joy.

-LOVE is JOY

-GRATITUDE is JOY

-Someone "SEEING" me is JOY

-Giving my gifts to others is JOY, but receiving others gifts through what I learn from them has the same effect

-A new friend

-LAUGHTER

-MUSIC I am drawn to many differen't types, but I feel so joyful when I hear my favorite song. Right now, I love Alanis Morrisette song called Madness.

-Watching myself learn, and feeling proud when I put that knowledge to work.

-This week I have made decisions that would have normally gone against all my beliefs. But it felt good to break out of that mold, and believe in something else, that I know is right for me. Having that shift, has made me believe that their is someone else involved. But the only thing that matters is this moment when I feel peace knowing it was the right choices. That God knows me more then I know myself. And knowing that, I trust myself, and I am fearless in my decisions.

As I fall asleep. I feel a sense of peace that resonates with joy. The joy and peace I feel may go away some days, but all that matters now is that I feel it presently. And I am going to give myself the opportunity to bask in that feeling. I only have right now, this moment. I am willing to see the turmoil that I have inside sometimes, and I am willing to see it for what it brings, and I am willing to see that it is just a feeling and that it will no longer leave me terrified or paralyzed. I am willing to come back to presence and feel joy. Tomorrow will come, (I hope) and when it does, I will take this feeling of Joy and remember the joys that all the yesterday's brought my way. Good night friends. I love you!